Voices of Those Who Left
Behind the statistics and legal codes are real people—millions who have questioned, doubted, and ultimately left Islam. Their testimonies provide insight into the human cost of apostasy laws and the reasons why people abandon the faith they were born into. These stories reveal patterns in why Muslims leave Islam and what they discover when they do.
"We were told Islam has all the answers, but when I started asking questions, I found only threats and silence." — Anonymous ex-Muslim
Common Reasons for Leaving Islam
1. Moral and Ethical Objections
Muhammad's Marriage to Aisha: Many ex-Muslims cite their horror upon learning that Muhammad, age 53, consummated his marriage to Aisha when she was only 9 years old (Sahih Bukhari 5134). "I was told Muhammad was the perfect example for all time," one ex-Muslim woman said. "But I would never let a 50-year-old man marry my 6-year-old daughter. Why is this considered moral?"
Treatment of Women: Female ex-Muslims frequently cite Islam's treatment of women as their primary reason for leaving. The Quran's permission for husbands to beat disobedient wives (4:34), testimony of two women equaling one man (2:282), and inheritance rights favoring men disturb many Muslim women who grow up in more egalitarian societies.
Slavery and Concubinage: "When I learned that Muhammad owned slaves and had sex with his slave girls, I couldn't reconcile it with the idea of a perfect prophet," explained a former Muslim from Egypt. The Quran's permission for sexual slavery ("what your right hands possess") particularly troubles those who believe slavery is always wrong.
Violence and Warfare: Many cite the Quran's verses commanding fighting against unbelievers (9:29, 9:123) and Muhammad's military campaigns as incompatible with their understanding of a religion of peace.
2. Intellectual and Logical Questions
Scientific Errors: Ex-Muslims often describe losing faith upon discovering what they see as scientific errors in the Quran: semen originating between the backbone and ribs (86:6-7), the earth being flat (various verses), stars as missiles to shoot devils (67:5).
Historical Inaccuracies: The Quran's account of Mary (Maryam) being the sister of Aaron and daughter of Amram confuses Jesus' mother with Moses' sister from 1,400 years earlier (19:28). Such errors led many to question the Quran's divine authorship.
Contradictions: The presence of abrogation (naskh) in the Quran—where later verses override earlier ones—troubles those who believe God's eternal word shouldn't contradict itself.
3. Unanswered Questions
"The moment I started asking questions," said one ex-Muslim, "I was told to stop questioning and just have faith. But my questions were simple: Why does an all-merciful God send people to hell for eternity? Why can't I leave Islam freely? Why does God allow child marriage?"
Many describe being shut down when asking about:
- Why apostasy deserves death
- Why Allah's mercy requires eternal hell
- Why a perfect book needs so much interpretation
- Why Islamic countries lag in human rights, science, and development
- Why ancient pagan practices (like circling the Kaaba) remain in Islam
4. Comparison with Other Religions
Growing up in pluralistic societies, many Muslims encounter Christianity and find stark contrasts:
"In Islam, I was told salvation depends on good deeds outweighing bad ones, but I could never know if I'd done enough," explained a Pakistani convert to Christianity. "When I learned about grace—that Jesus paid the price I couldn't pay—it was like a weight lifted."
Others note Jesus' emphasis on love, forgiveness, and non-violence compared to Muhammad's life of warfare and political conquest.
The Cost of Leaving
Family Rejection
Amina (pseudonym), from Saudi Arabia: "When my family discovered I'd stopped believing, my father said he wished I'd died as a child rather than become an apostate. My mother won't speak to me. My siblings were told to cut all contact. I lost my entire family in one day."
Hassan, from Egypt: "My wife divorced me when she learned I'd converted to Christianity. The court gave her custody of our children. I haven't seen them in three years. Under Egyptian law, an apostate can't have custody of Muslim children."
Physical Danger
Rifqa Bary: At age 17, this Ohio teenager ran away from home after converting to Christianity, fearing her father would kill her for apostasy. Her case gained international attention in 2009.
Honor Killings: Ex-Muslims face genuine risk of being killed by family members. In 2007, Aqsa Parvez, a 16-year-old Canadian girl, was strangled to death by her father and brother for refusing to wear hijab and adopting Western ways—a step toward apostasy in their eyes.
Legal Consequences
Meriam Ibrahim: In Sudan, this Christian woman was sentenced to death in 2014 for apostasy because her father was Muslim (though her mother was Christian and she was raised Christian). She was pregnant and gave birth in chains while on death row. Only international pressure secured her release.
Forced Psychiatric Treatment: In some countries, apostates are declared mentally ill and forcibly institutionalized in "rehabilitation centers" to coerce them back to Islam.
The Ex-Muslim Movement
In recent years, ex-Muslims have formed support organizations:
- Ex-Muslims of North America (EXMNA): Founded in 2013, provides support and community for ex-Muslims
- Council of Ex-Muslims of Britain: Founded in 2007, advocates for religious freedom and supports those leaving Islam
- Atheist Republic: Online community with many ex-Muslim members
- r/exmuslim: Reddit community with over 180,000 members sharing stories and support
These organizations reveal a growing movement of people leaving Islam, particularly in the West where they have freedom to do so safely.
Common Patterns in Testimonies
After analyzing hundreds of ex-Muslim testimonies, several patterns emerge:
- Initial doubt: Usually begins with a moral objection or unanswered question
- Research: They study Islam more deeply, often reading hadith for the first time
- Shock: Discovery of uncomfortable truths they weren't taught (Muhammad's violence, sexual ethics, etc.)
- Questioning authorities: Asking imams and scholars, receiving unsatisfying answers
- Secret doubt: Period of closeted disbelief due to fear
- Decision point: Either commit to apostasy or return to faith through cognitive dissonance
- Coming out: Revealing apostasy to family/friends
- Consequences: Facing rejection, threats, or violence
- New life: Rebuilding identity outside Islam
Why They Don't Return
"People ask if I'll ever go back to Islam," said one ex-Muslim. "Once you've seen the problems, you can't unsee them. It's like learning a magic trick—once you know how it's done, the illusion is gone forever."
Ex-Muslims consistently report that despite the cost, they cannot return to believing what they've concluded is false. As one stated: "I'd rather face my family's rejection while living honestly than pretend to believe something I know isn't true."
Biblical Contrast: The Welcoming Father
The biblical response to those who leave differs dramatically from Islam's death penalty. Jesus told the parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32):
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him... 'Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'" — Luke 15:20, 23-24
God is portrayed as a father who eagerly welcomes back those who strayed, not one who commands their execution. Christianity emphasizes restoration over retaliation.
Questions to Consider
- Why do so many Muslims who study Islam deeply end up leaving it?
- If Islam is the truth, why do Islamic scholars struggle to provide satisfying answers to moral and logical questions?
- What does it say about Islam that many who leave face death threats from their own families?
- Why does Islam need the threat of death to keep believers if its arguments are compelling?
- How many Muslims would leave if there were no social, legal, or physical consequences?