Introduction
Khadijah bint Khuwaylid occupies a unique position in Islamic history as Muhammad's first wife, primary financial supporter, and the only woman he married during her lifetime. The dramatic shift in Muhammad's marital practices after her death—from monogamy to collecting numerous wives and concubines—raises significant questions about the nature of his prophethood and the role financial independence played in constraining his behavior.
Historical Context
According to Islamic tradition, Khadijah was a wealthy Qurayshi widow who employed Muhammad as a trading agent around 595 CE. She was approximately 40 years old and had been married twice before, while Muhammad was about 25. Despite the substantial age gap and her superior social and economic position, she proposed marriage to him through an intermediary.
The Wealthy Widow and the Poor Orphan
Islamic sources consistently describe Khadijah as one of the wealthiest merchants in Mecca. Ibn Ishaq's Sirat Rasul Allah portrays her as a successful businesswoman who hired men to conduct trade on her behalf. Muhammad, by contrast, was an orphan of modest means who had worked as a shepherd and trading agent. The economic disparity was substantial—she was financing his employment and later his prophetic career.
This financial dynamic is crucial for understanding their relationship. When Muhammad began claiming prophetic revelations around 610 CE (15 years into their marriage), Khadijah's wealth provided the economic security that allowed him to devote time to religious activities rather than commerce. Traditional Islamic biographies present her as his first convert and strongest supporter during the difficult early years in Mecca when few believed his message.
What Islamic Sources Say
The Islamic historical record presents Khadijah in overwhelmingly positive terms, though the details raise important questions when examined critically.
Key Evidence from Islamic Sources
- Ibn Ishaq's Sirat: Describes Khadijah as "a merchant woman of dignity and wealth" who hired Muhammad and then proposed marriage after being impressed by his character and honesty (known as "al-Amin").
- Sahih Bukhari 3:43:648: Records Muhammad saying "She believed in me when people rejected me; she trusted me when people called me a liar; she supported me with her wealth when people deprived me; and Allah granted me children only through her."
- Tabari's History: States she bore Muhammad six children: two sons (Qasim and Abdullah, both died in infancy) and four daughters (Zaynab, Ruqayyah, Umm Kulthum, and Fatimah).
- Ibn Sa'd's Tabaqat: Confirms that Muhammad took no other wives during Khadijah's lifetime, a period of approximately 25 years.
The Monogamy Question
The most striking fact about Muhammad's marriage to Khadijah is his practice of strict monogamy throughout their union. This stands in stark contrast to his behavior after her death in 619 CE, when he rapidly accumulated multiple wives and concubines. Islamic sources provide no theological explanation for this dramatic shift—Muhammad claimed to be receiving divine revelations throughout his marriage to Khadijah, yet apparently received no permission for polygamy until after her death.
"The Messenger of Allah did not marry another woman while Khadijah was alive." - Ibn Sa'd, Tabaqat al-Kubra
Problems and Contradictions
The standard Islamic narrative about Khadijah, while praising her character, inadvertently exposes several troubling questions about Muhammad's prophetic claims and moral character.
The Timing of Polygamy Revelation
If Muhammad was truly receiving revelations from Allah throughout his marriage to Khadijah (610-619 CE), why did permission for polygamy only come after her death? The Quranic verse allowing Muslim men to marry "two, three, or four" wives (Surah 4:3) was revealed in Medina, well after Khadijah's death. This timing raises an obvious question: Did Allah's moral law change, or did Muhammad's personal circumstances dictate the content of his revelations?
The apologetic response—that Muhammad practiced monogamy out of respect for Khadijah—actually makes the problem worse. If monogamy was better (as evidenced by Muhammad's longest and apparently happiest marriage), why did Allah later permit polygamy? If polygamy is permitted by divine law, why did Muhammad wait until his wealthy, older wife died before exercising this right?
The Financial Independence Factor
The correlation between Khadijah's financial support and Muhammad's monogamy cannot be ignored. During their marriage, Khadijah's wealth sustained the household. After her death, Muhammad's marital expansion coincided with his growing political and military power in Medina. His later marriages frequently involved strategic alliances, captured women, and significant dowries that flowed into his household.
Consider this timeline:
- 595-619 CE: Married to wealthy Khadijah—one wife, no concubines
- 619-632 CE: After Khadijah's death—at least 11 wives, multiple concubines, including a 6-year-old girl (Aisha), war captives, and slave women
Implications
- Economic Dependency: Muhammad's monogamy during Khadijah's life suggests financial dependence on a wife who may not have tolerated polygamy, rather than divinely-mandated marital restraint.
- Convenient Revelations: The pattern of revelations aligning with Muhammad's changing circumstances (Khadijah's death, attraction to Zaynab, need for political alliances) undermines claims of objective divine guidance.
- Character Questions: If Muhammad's ideal marriage was his monogamous union with Khadijah, his subsequent collection of wives and concubines appears driven by desire and politics rather than religious duty.
Muslim Responses
Islamic apologists typically defend this pattern with several arguments, each of which creates additional problems:
"He Remained Faithful to Her Memory"
Muslims often point to hadiths showing Muhammad's continued affection for Khadijah years after her death (Sahih Bukhari 5:58:168). However, this response misses the point. The question isn't whether he remembered her fondly, but why his marital practices changed so dramatically after her death. Remaining faithful to her memory while simultaneously marrying multiple women and taking concubines seems contradictory.
"His Later Marriages Were Political Alliances"
This defense actually concedes that Muhammad's marriages were driven by strategic considerations rather than divine command. If these were political arrangements, they undermine the claim that Muhammad was following Allah's will in his personal life. Moreover, marriages to very young girls (Aisha) and war captives (Safiyya, Juwayriya) cannot be explained as political alliances.
"Polygamy Was Normal in That Culture"
This argument defeats itself. If polygamy was culturally normal and religiously permitted, why did Muhammad practice monogamy for 25 years with Khadijah? The cultural normalcy claim cannot explain the dramatic shift in his behavior. Furthermore, if we accept this cultural relativism, we must also accept that Muhammad's moral example was culturally bound, not universally applicable—a position orthodox Islam cannot maintain.
Christian Perspective
The biblical pattern stands in sharp contrast to Muhammad's marital history. While some Old Testament figures practiced polygamy (a practice the Bible records but never endorses), the clear biblical ideal from Genesis onward is monogamous marriage between one man and one woman for life.
Jesus explicitly reaffirmed this standard: "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?" (Matthew 19:4-5). Note: "wife" singular, "one flesh," not multiple wives.
The New Testament requirements for church leadership make this even clearer: "An overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife" (1 Timothy 3:2). The Christian ideal isn't grudging permission for polygamy with restrictions, but the creational design of permanent, monogamous union.
Furthermore, the pattern of convenient revelations that characterize Muhammad's prophetic career (revelations permitting whatever he desired at the moment) contrasts sharply with biblical prophets who often received messages they didn't want to hear and that worked against their personal interests. Biblical prophets confronted kings and suffered for their message; Muhammad's revelations consistently served his political and personal interests.
Questions to Consider
- If Allah permitted polygamy, why did Muhammad practice monogamy for 25 years during his marriage to his wealthy wife Khadijah?
- Is it coincidence that Muhammad's collection of multiple wives began only after the death of his financially independent first wife?
- What does the timing of the polygamy revelations tell us about the source of Muhammad's claimed revelations?
- If Muhammad's happiest and longest marriage was monogamous, why did Allah later permit practices that seem to contradict this ideal?
- How do we reconcile Islamic claims about Muhammad's superior moral character with his dramatic shift from one faithful marriage to collecting numerous wives and concubines?
Conclusion
Khadijah's role as Muhammad's first wife and financial supporter reveals an uncomfortable truth about the early Islamic movement: economic dependence on a strong-willed, wealthy woman appears to have constrained Muhammad's behavior in ways that divine revelation apparently did not. The dramatic transformation from faithful monogamy to enthusiastic polygamy following her death suggests that Muhammad's revelations conveniently aligned with his changing circumstances rather than reflecting timeless divine moral law.
For those examining Islam's truth claims, the Khadijah narrative provides important evidence. The pattern is clear: when financially dependent on a wife who commanded respect through wealth and age, Muhammad remained monogamous. When that constraint was removed through her death and replaced with political power and military success, his marital practices expanded dramatically. This pattern suggests human desire and political calculation rather than divine guidance.
The Christian examining Islam should note this carefully: the God of the Bible is consistently portrayed as unchanging in His moral standards (Malachi 3:6, James 1:17). The Allah of the Quran appears to change his requirements based on Muhammad's circumstances. This difference is not trivial—it goes to the heart of whether Islam represents authentic divine revelation or the religious codification of one man's evolving political and personal ambitions.